Those friends whom you can barf out all the words you’ve been holding in onto.

They show me God. They speak God’s words.

I am so thankful for these people in my life, but prayer with all that I can muster for a consistency. I am done with little glimmers of relationships. I am exhausted with pouring out my soul and innards, and frustrated with a one-way confidence.

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Today I miss Australia.

It is a funny feeling.

Empty, kind of.

 

Looking at photos from the semester kind of feels like memories of a good dream. Deja vu, kind of.

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You know when people ask you,

“If you could have a dinner party with anyone in the world, dead or alive, would it be?”? [double ?'s necessary here...fancy]

Here is that list:

Donald Miller

Anne Lamott

Maya Angelou

Meryl Streep

Philip Seymour Hoffman

Ellen Degeneres

Laura Linney

Tina Fey

Beyonce

John & Joan Cusack

David & Amy Sedaris

MLK Jr.

Cate Blanchett

Alphonse Mucha

Tennessee Williams

Jack Kerouac

Anis Mojgani

& The Queen Mum

But of course, I was thinking about the happenstance that this dinner party were a reality. Where would it be? What would we eat? Why are all these beautiful, influential people at the same party? And why in the hell was I invited?

I decided that I would invite a few extra people to share in the festivities and to feel a bit more comfortable:

Cyndi Kimmel

Jordan Beanblossom

Annaliese Anderson

Erik Naydiuk

Natalie Gardner

 

humans are funny creatures, ya know?

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He pushes the boundaries of the institution,

Lying in the thick, itchy blades of grass,

Surrounded by ashes & thoughts, questions & stars.

He inhales often & exhales occasionally.

He perpetually keeps hearing the question

“Who is your God?”

“Who is your God?”

 

He wants to answer,

“Well, you are, of course.”

That is too easy to speak,

But not true enough.

 

Where does his loyalty truly lie?

 

 

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fresh air

a fresh start to a new way of living.

a familiar culture & comforting faces.

nights full of brew & ashes.

mornings spent wakin’ up to my best friend.

new confusing relationships stir around me.

where do i fit? where do i go?

am i a child of this land or the other?

the Father gives & takes

& heals & breaks.

a dot. a speck. a freckle

on the large visage of time.

what am i to do?

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we went out back.

i apologize that my posts have been few & far between.

i will try to summarize the past few weeks:

I got the job at Mcdonald’s. It is better than I expected. Friendly faces. Helpful bosses. I work the register. It is taboo at home to say you work at McDonald’s. But at $16.80/hour, I will gladly advertise that I work for this corporate monster. My shifts are short & fast paced. I often have a hard time understanding the Australian accents & say, “Sorry I’m new & American,” & they are always very forgiving.

So now for the more interesting part…THE OUTBACK.

It took us two days on a bus to travel there, but the travelling part was half the fun. We stayed in a town called Dubbo on the way. We were in a simple little motel where my friends Katrina, Rachel & Kristin & I made a blankfort & shared embarassing stories. Early the next morning we were back on the bumpy, dirty road. The “True Grit” Soundtrack is a perfect accompaniment to bumpy, dirty travels.

We finally made it to Trilby Station (http://www.trilbystation.com.au/). It was not what we were expecting. It was absolutely wonderful, but not what we were expecting. We expected to be surrounded by red dirt with maybe a building or two to eat, but Trilby Station has many accommodations & nice facilities. We were surrounded by shrubbery & dirty rivers & billabongs. We had 300,000 acres to explore. I was in paradise.

Our first night was beautiful. The heat, smell & smoke of the campfire was intoxicating & comforting. Fire does something to people. It evokes emotions & words that would not otherwise be expressed in an ordinary setting. Our director Kimberly had 3 rocks for us to pass around. Anyone who cared to could take the 3 rocks & share 3 things that the group might not know about them but perhaps should. She told us that we would do some that night & then save the rest for the other nights. The momentum of the stories filled with many tears & many laughs led all 30 people around the fire to share until the late hours of the night. For the first time all semester, we felt united, like a family. For the first time all semester, I saw people become human. We followed that with most of us sleeping out under the largest, most decorated night sky I’d ever seen. Aubrey, Sarah, Liisa & I shared a time of awe under the stars. Sarah sang a lullaby that she sings to her campers when she is a camp counselor. It was peace.

The remainder of the days spent out back, we explored, climbed, adventured, canoed, wondered, communed, laughed, cried, played, sang, prayed & felt connected. That week was the turning point in this semester. It was the Lord “alluring me, bringing me into the wilderness & speaking tenderly to me” (Hosea 2). He brought me to an environment, an element that I felt more comfortable & free in. He was holding me & whispering “You can do this, Aaron. You’ll make it the rest of the way. No worries, mate. All is love.

rugged & dirty river

the land is dry & thirsty, just as her people are.

the land is dry & thirsty, just as her people are.

300,000 acresilluminatefly away.master architectthe lizard, he dried up. he needs something more.